a billion eyelids fluttering we drew the sky etc and died embracing the moon

I’ve got a jackal casing the house, but sometimes it snows (in May!) and he yips away.
Then, later, I’m the jackal casing my home and scare away the two deer or the two cats who come every other day to case me. I wonder what we look to them? Strange things writing strange blog posts? I’d like them to be very educated about all stuff human, but just not bothered to deal with any of it. Silently judging maybe all while skipping into their forest life.

Some evenings I take my bike and do my regular lap of the island. Just making sure everything is there. Sometimes things go missing. A tree, a piece of moss, patches of sky… or the waves are different or the swans less fearful. It’s hard to stay listening to whatever’s coming from my earphones during those moments. You can’t really. So I lie down against the rocks and pick a spot from where I can only see the open horizon.

And then:

‘do you think we could find a way back to an evening
when holding each other will not be about balance
and all the tunes are inside us and wordless?’

Poem endings fly across the water.

Anyway. I played Sebastian in our university production of The Tempest. I was also the assistant director on it. Learned a lot. Here’s a picture:

The director, David I. Rabey, on the left. George Ellingham as Antonio (center) and me on the right.

I used the be very afraid of improvising or being on stage in general, but a few years ago I made a point to start putting myself into those positions where I’d have to conquer it.

So now it’s gone. That’s a success.

I’m keeping myself busy still. I really don’t like the idea of vacationing or relaxing. I think I’m scared of being lazy in a way that I never was when I was younger.

I’m very happy to be here, on this island, alone and writing.

Hopefully I can share more as things progress. I’ll try not to let this thing completely die, but I’ve gone off all social media to.. really, really cultivate that ‘recluse artist’ image, you know?

Today, I’m happy.


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