Once Zhuangzi dreamt he was a butterfly, a butterfly flitting and fluttering around, happy with himself and doing as he pleased. He didn’t know he was Zhuangzi. Suddenly he woke up and there he was, solid and unmistakable Zhuangzi. But he didn’t know if he was Zhuangzi who had dreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming he was Zhuangzi.
Yeah. Been reading Chinese philosophy and poetry a bit. Writing a lot of poetry as well. Trying to chew through Dostojevski’s “The Brothers Karamazov”, I specifically ordered an English translation that had won awards for being well translated. It’s still dense as stuffing though. It always takes a while to get into the rythm of a book doesn’t it? At page 49, I’m slowly starting to get it. At the same time I love these thick, small lettered, books. Feels like getting on a train of knowledge every time I grab the book. I’ve also just started with Stella Adler’s “Art of Acting” I think everybody should read at least one acting book in their lifetime. Gives great insight into being human. Acting is nothing more than just being. Why wouldn’t you want to learn how to do that?
There are some amazing lectures and conversations on youtube with people like Billy Collins and other poets, you should check them out if you have the time. Those fill up my nights. Nothing takes you on a journey like listening to a poet just talk. I’ve learned a lot and my poetry has definitely changed since last year. I might have enough poems now to get a book full of ’em. That should be exciting. I have quite a specific idea what it would look like. I’ve also got the title down.
The movie is nearing completion now. Color grading is nearly done and so is the editing. Overall I’m incredibly happy and proud how it turned out. It’s very Murakami-esque, or like a friend of mine said, it’s like a poem put into film. The locations look great and I’m honestly kinda shocked that it actually looks and feels like a real movie! Even though I’m just at the start of my gravelly filmmaking path, it’s good to have proof that I can turn my vision into a real thing. It also goes to show how important it is to surround yourself with talented people, you can’t make a movie alone. And even if just for the sake of arguments you need people to ask you: “Why this? Why do you want to film THIS?” This challenges you and being a director means providing proof. “Because this signifies your characters obsessive love for cats and burritos.”
“You’re insane, but okay.”
I’m in the processes of getting my Canadian visa. So far it’s gone pretty great and I’ve had no major hurdles. I even got a place in the quota way earlier than I expected and if this keeps up, I might be on my way to Canada early next year. I will probably also try to stay there and apply for permanent residence as quick as I can.
This year has been ultimately cathartic and I’ve refound my solitude. And solitude is something any creative artist needs. Life is about learning, and I learn best when I am alone. Maybe writing a blog post, while Debussy plays in the background. It’s not nighttime, but it might as well be. Your mind is powerful and creating ANYTHING is a way to turn back time or jump forward, like playing a scale on the piano. Not C major though. Go for like A flat major or something. Or better yet, learn how to play the cello. Do you know anyone who could play the cello? Exactly. You could be that person.
The enigmatic, mysterious cello player.
The worst superhero ever.